Anxiety and Agoraphobia

I realized living with my mother won’t last forever. It scares me that someday something might happen to her, and I won’t be able to get by on my own. To realize you have no friends and no life is scary, and it is even scarier to realize someday you will face this world alone and unprepared.

My family is not supportive, to put it simply. My family is very abusive and dysfunctional. I have no friends at all! Not even one because of 17 years of my life struggling with agorphobia.

I have disabilities: major depression, anxiety, agoraphobia and PTSD from years of abuse in my family. I am not sure I will ever get over these issues, but I do know in order to try I have to do something to better my future.

My dream is to become a Medical Assistant. I have always had a love for helping people and animals. Since I was a little girl that was what I wanted to be. I dream of getting my license and a car, to have my own place and to be able to wake up each day and have something to look forward to and know I gave this to myself.

I hate it when people say the past is the past and you should get over it. If it were that simple, a lot of people wouldn’t be in the situation they are today. I fear people, I fear change and I fear being alone the rest of my life. If I can try to get out and get my G.E.D. that would be the biggest accomplishment of my life. I don’t have any kids, so I’m not like a lot of other stories that has to worry about supporting children. In a way I’m grateful, because I always want my future kids to have better than I have/had. I want to be a role model and change the lives of people who are sick. If I don’t succeed with becoming a nurse, I would love to devote my time to animal rescue or Vet Tech. I dropped out of school in seventh grade to protect my mother from abuse. I witnessed so much. Deep inside I know it changed me as a person. I think it’s about time to reclaim the person I always wanted to be, time to stop caring about what others/strangers think of me and do something that will make the Lord proud he put me on this earth. I wish everyone the best in their goals.